Faffing My Way to a Ph.D.

No One Reads This, But That's OK

2009-10-12T09:20:00.003-04:00

Welcome, imaginary reader! So far as I can tell this blog gets no real readers, but if it did, here's how I picture you. You, too are working on a ph.d. You are juggling multiple demands on your time. You are experiencing excitement, motivation and at the same time dread and self-doubt. You are spending a lot on your advanced degree: money, time, energy. At times you doubt yourself. "Why am I doing this?" "Will I ever get done?" "Does it even matter?" you ask yourself.

There are answers to those questions. For me they are:

a) Because I want to. I want to know more and do more.
b) Yes I will get done. Because I have come to far to quit now!
c) It matters for so many reasons. For me and my own growth, knowledge, confidence and capacity. And to those I reach through my work. I have more to offer. Not because of the "piece of paper" I am earning but because of what I am learning in the process. What I am learning is both the academic content and what it takes to set and achieve a major life goal. Every once in a while someone tells them I am inspiring them. If that is so, it's terrific to think that what I do might help others reach for their goals, too.

This past week I have taken some more small steps. Met with my committee chair. Got some more suggestions for revision. Incorporated them and sent my research questions, survey and interview guide (all revised) along with a matrix identifying questions and survey/interview items that match them to another committee member. Awaiting his feedback now.

I'd Rather Be...

2009-09-27T13:03:00.004-04:00

It's Sunday and I am working on my dissertation. Here is what I'd rather be doing

a) Knitting
b) Riding my bike
c) Reading a novel
d) Visiting a friend

Instead here I am revising my research questions and data collection instruments. Reminding myself this is important to me, and it needs to get done.

My reward today when I get this done

a) Ride my bike to the shop to get a rack put on it.
b) Go dancing tonight

Ok, back to it!

Visions and Revisions

2009-08-22T16:36:00.005-04:00

Vision: I have completed my research, written and successfully defended my dissertation. My findings are communicated to the field and we begin developing effective approaches to improving child welfare practice with infants and toddlers.

Revision: I sit at my desk, with a crashing thunderstorm taking place outside. We do so need the rain, so the storm is good. I am going page by page through my committee chair's comments on my proposal. Some of these require me to locate articles and reports that I haven't read yet. So I painstakingly rewrite, cite and enter references. No way do I want to have to come back to the task of completing the reference list later.

Once I complete this I have to do the same with the committee members' comments.

I can do this!

Reference count so far: 91.

Image: Microsoft Clip Art

Inspiration at Library of Congress

2009-08-19T19:17:00.002-04:00

I visited the Library of Congress today with a friend. This had nothing to do with my dissertation. I have some time off, and had always wanted to go there. I live in the DC area, so I am not sure what stopped me. I’ve been here for over ten years! I’ve been a little busy since becoming a grad student, what can I say?

There was something inspiring about being surrounded by all that history and beauty. Thomas Jefferson’s library! The Declaration of Independence, displayed as a video image. Realizing the discourse that took place about the idea that the Colonies had the right to rebel against Britain. Seeing a picture of Abigail Adams and recognizing her strength, intelligence and courage. Seeing discussions of the wrongs of slavery. A quote on the wall, Science is Organized Knowledge. In my small way I am contributing to our pool of organized knowledge. In the process I certainly am benefitting from the knowledge developed by others who have thought, read, written, lived and struggled before and and along with me.

A banner reminding us that all men are created equal (assumptions in that language that haunt us still today) and asserting other key ideas that at the time were revolutionary. And still are ideas we must fight for. None of this has anything to do with my dissertation exactly. Except that the idea of addressing social injustice and righting some of the world’s wrongs drives my work. I’m glad I went. And I’ll go back.

Doing What I Have to Do

2009-08-10T21:41:00.004-04:00

I am still making progress, though slowly. I still find it hard to get going on my dissertation work. I am still interested in it but ever since my father's death, it's just hard to get started. I miss him the most when doing my academic work.

He was a Ph.D. sociologist and was just so tickled when I decided in mid life to go after the doctorate degree. After he developed Alzheimers he sometimes couldn't quite think of my sons' names, due to his "tricky" memory. But he always remembered to ask me "How's school going?" He even critiqued one of my papers and gave me some damn good suggestions.

Anyhow, add to that psychological barrier the realities of a) proposal writing for work and b) some aggravating hormonally induced fatigue (who knew that would be part of perimenopause. Give me a break!)and I haven't been getting my revisions done at breakneck speed.

However. This weekend, made the research question/survey/interiew qustions matrix my committee asked for. Yes, it was useful. Led to some revisions, and to elimination of a few questions on the survey. Sent if off to my committee chair. Now for some edits to the proposal, HRB approval and sending info to a colleague that can help me get the cooperation of some child welfare agencies to participate in the study. Slowly but surely this thing is moving forward.

Photo:N.L.Seibel, 2008

Slow But Steady Progress

2009-07-22T21:09:00.002-04:00

I was derailed for a few weeks by neverending work projects. There's a lull now and I've made some progress.

1) revised survey
2) figured out a way around a problem, how to have an immediate social exchange to encourage participants to complete a survey, a la Dillman. I can't afford to give something to each participant. I tried to get permission to distribute an article from my organization' journal, but that was nixed. Not interested in electronic dissemination of articles, though it would have been free marketing. But, there is one I wrote a while back for another organization and I think they will permit me to use it.
3)talked to a colleague today who can help me line up some child welfare agencies to take part in my study.

Defended Successfully

2009-06-13T13:03:00.002-04:00

We met. I defended. Proposal needs some revising.

Am happy. It's an accomplishment. I see I am going to make it. Wish I could let my father know!

Printing Proposal out Right Now

2009-06-03T22:49:00.002-04:00

As I write this I am printing out a copy of my proposal. There's this sense of unreality here. Am I actually going to defend this thing on June 12th? It looks like it.

I have 4 committee members. Two wanted electronic files. Two wanted mailed hard copies. Two of these wanted both. And the Ph.D. office needs a hard copy. Tomorrow I have to get these copies mailed. Must. Get. This. Done.

This is better than copying and preparing my portfolio though. Lots less paper.

Progress Continues

2009-04-29T21:11:00.001-04:00

One of my contacts wrote back to me. I have to pursue and stay on top of this!

More Progress

2009-04-26T21:29:00.002-04:00

I wrote to 2 contacts today who I hope can set me up with child welfare agencies that will permit me to do the data gathering.

Managed to move from faffing to producing this weekend. Good deal.

Progress!

2009-04-26T13:01:00.001-04:00

Finished revising my slides and updating my proposal summary. Tweaked the proposal itself a little -- but closed the file before I got obsessed with that.

Figured out how to download a table from the US Census site and turn it into a chart that I could insert in a PowerPoint.

Feeling virtuous -- and techie!

Doing Something

2009-04-26T10:53:00.003-04:00

Reviewing my proposal and updating the slides I developed for my proposal class. Trying to get ready for June 12.

Have to contact colleagues about connecting with some child welfare agencies too.

Kinda Scared Now!

2009-04-24T22:14:00.003-04:00

I am going to defend my proposal in June. That means a lot of things. I have to find child welfare agencies to let me survey staff.

I have to interview.

I have to collect and analyze data.

I have to finish writing the dissertation.

Yikes!

Success - Proposal Defense Scheduled

2009-04-07T22:08:00.004-04:00

Unreal. I got a date for my proposal defense. Now I have to get ready! Send positive energy my way for June 12th!

Trying to get My Proposal Defense Scheduled

2009-04-05T13:06:00.000-04:00

This part is harder than all the rest!! Aligning 5 busy schedules takes some doing.

Action At Last

2009-03-15T21:52:00.002-04:00

Trying to organize my committee to meet this spring. Ready to defend my proposal. Wish me luck!

Not To Be Missed: Banjo Bunny Halloween Card

2008-10-19T12:57:00.001-04:00

visit http://www.banjobunny.com/ for more great cards!

Haven't Forgotten my Dissertation

2008-10-12T16:26:00.006-04:00

Major faffing this semester. Politics and teaching. The presidential race is critical and the devastation of the world's economy makes it ever more so. We need a president and vice president who can thoughtfully lead a diverse nation and build working partnerships with other countries. We don't need an impulsive, angry, short-sighted president paired with a VP who winks but doesn't think. It is outrageous and offensive that they would try to paint Obama as a terrorist.

The election is absorbing much of my attention and some of my time. Closer to home, in a momentary break with reality this semester I agreed to teach a graduate school class. It's something they want all of us to do before getting the Ph.D. It is not mandatory but urged, and for good reason. I am interested in teaching and I do a lot of training, so I know I can do the teaching part, no problem. But I've never taught before. While I am familiar with most of the content I would present here, some of it I have had to read up on. All of it is taking time, lots and lots of time. I am liking it just fine. But I can't work full time, teach part time and keep my proposal moving forward simultaneously. Ok well the thing to do I know is get an appointment with my committee. That'll make me wrap up the proposal.

Sarah Palin on the Phone: Honey, Mommy’s a Little Busy

2008-10-08T20:11:00.002-04:00

This is great!

Sarah Palin on the Phone: Honey, Mommy’s a Little Busy

Posted using ShareThis

We Paid for This?

2008-10-07T23:26:00.001-04:00

Read this.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/10/07/AR2008100702604.html

What the hell?

On Hold

2008-10-07T20:25:00.003-04:00

Took on a commitment to teach this semester. Can't seem to work full time, teach AND wrap up my proposal at the same time. Gotta schedule time to defend, maybe in the break between semesters?

But tonight, the presidential debate.

Go, Obama! Don't let McCain get away with his character assassination strategy.

Ready to Defend!

2008-09-14T16:32:00.003-04:00

My advisor says I am ready to defend my proposal. Woo hoo! I know I have more work to do, but the distance between my present location in the tunnel and the light at the end is getting closer!

Back to Proposal

2008-09-11T21:43:00.002-04:00

Still need to figure out, how do I get my sample? How many surveys do I need to get back? I still think my sample should be child welfare workers in urban settings.

I would hope to get at least 200 surveys completed. So that would mean I need to distribute 800? More?

I need to line up at least 3 child welfare agencies to agree to be surveyed.

And then hope that promises to cooperate lead to real cooperation!

To encourage response, I should offer a social exchange of some sort. A chance to get a book? A $10 coupon to ZERO TO THREE's Press? Or perhaps to Borders or Barnes and Noble? Limit that to the first 100 respondents so I can control costs? Have to make these decisions and also see if I can find grant funding to help with some of the expenses, travel, incentives, etc.

What Matt Damon Has to Say About Palin

2008-09-11T18:41:00.002-04:00

Here's Matt Damon sharing his concerns about Palin as VP. We should all be asking these questions!

More on Hypocrisy

2008-09-11T18:30:00.002-04:00

What does John McCain really think about Palin? Here'is he is soundly criticizing her expensive "bridge to nowhere." Now why would he have picked her as his running mate? Could this be sheer hyposcrisy?